Dear D, I wish I could just explain to you everything that’s on my mind. I love you so much and it’s so hard to find the worlds to describe this feeling that I fight. I feel as cliche as it may be the reason I’m having trouble breathing recently is because you’re not with me…? I don’t even know how that would make sense considering it used to happen before I met you, And I know it definitely is medical, but it didn’t happen like this. But it totally makes sense, because quite frankly, my heart is beating uncontrollably. God, It’s like I love you so much and I know you can see. For once I just wish I could say it and have you say it back to me. You said nothing ever really changes and if things were meant to be it never really changes completely. How can things be the same when I can’t even look you in the eyes, without falling into complete shock about how amazing you are on the inside? Maybe the reason my chest has been hurting is me slowly breaking. I don’t know if I’m ever going to tell you I love you, it really scares me. But the fact of the matter is I wish I thought differently. Describing my dream guy to you wasn’t really that hard, I just said everything that came to my mind that you do to make me feel loved. It’s so freakin difficult, why is love so hard? Why can’t it be easy? And the funny thing is, it really is hard to please me. We’ve been through a lot, and you’re one of my best friends, but that’s not enough for me and you really don’t see. You had me once, and let me go, but the sad thing is…you’ll always have me. I think you secretly know it, or maybe it’s just in my imagination. But you keep going for girls you know won’t last a second. Do you know how much that hurts? To say how you’re desperate to be loved? When someone in front of you is handing you their heart, or at least trying too…this is breaking my heart writing this. And it’s silly because my song be smart totally makes sense(granted, I didn’t write it about you) but now it’s hard to sing that song because I’m listening to my heart, not my head, my head is saying “Who cares about him Caroline? Move on.” But my heart is saying..”You do, Stupid.” & The thing is, it’s you. It’s always been you. And my friends hate me for it, and tell me I’m stupid but I can’t help it because I fell in love with you…I just wish I had the guts to tell you all of this without feeling like I’d be completely rejected…now I’m rambling…But I feel so much better after writing this…well maybe a little. Maybe one day I’ll show this to you…maybe when I move. That way you’ll know when I do, that I left my heart behind, with you. I love you, as Severus Snape said about Lily, “Always.” Sincerely, C.